This week Baker Motors presents the 8th annual Charleston fashion week. Last night was an awesome show that included the stylings of Cavortress, Ike Behar, and one of my personal favorites, David Hart.  The glitterati and taste makers were all present.  Charleston Fashion Week is the brainchild of Ayoka Lucas and every year it never fails to excite. It’s one of the city’s, if not state’s, largest fashion expositions featuring designers from around the area as well as emerging designers. One could overdose on all the fabulosity.

After the show everyone gathered in the adjacent tent for cocktails and mingling just before heading to the after-party at Trio. I believe the most interesting people are the ones that linger. I ran into the likes John Ivory while under the big top. He was accompanied by the clown that inspired this post.

We circled the scene a few times and decided to leave. My first mind told me to grab a lamb gyro from Wally, instead we decided to head to James Island for a home cooked meal. The ride over was pretty normal save for the head rub the given to John and me by this blue haired stranger. I was particularly disturbed by this since earlier I saw this woman lick what looked like dirt and whiteout from these same hands. Our trip home included a pit stop to Harris Teeter for essential ingredients.

It was at this point, things get interesting. John and I enter the store for about 10 minutes and return to the truck. To our bewilderment the woman with the blue wig had disappeared. “Perhaps she had to use the restroom or maybe grab a few items.” These were all plausible explanations for her absence. Curious about her past, I agreed e John more about her. “That’s not your friend?” Words that let me know that I was catapulted into Zone Twilight.

After a quick survey of the grocery store, we got our answer once exiting. Officers from the city of Charleston approached us wanting to know if the woman had been with us and what drugs she was on. Immediately Susan Smith cane to mind, followed by Emmett Till. Since we both had about an hour of history with the woman we couldn’t accurately answer the question. However, we did not give her any, this is a fact. The officers later went on to explain that she came running to them from the car I was driving. Initially they found her in some bushes or something to that effect. She apparently had been threatened by someone prior to meeting us. At least that’s what they could make out. To them it seemed as though she was on something.

At this point I’m pondering my first thought, and how that lamb gyro would be so succulent and delicious right now. But I stood there with the officers who, I admit, could have been ruder and more the type that shoot first and ask questions last. I decided to go back in and grab a snack because I had a feeling it would be a while. Upon returning I saw my usually calm friend vexed, visibly upset and with good reason.  After calming him down I told the officer that the best thing for them to do was to take her crazy ass to the hospital. If she’s not on drugs nor drunk, she can be admitted into the psych ward.

Eventually EMS was called and we were released. This was one of my better run-ins with the law. In the past I’ve had to go to trial for crimes I didn’t commit. The set up for this could not have been better. A southern woman comes running to the cops claiming she was in trouble but doesn’t say conclusively whether the two black men she was with had something to do with it. Eventually it’s determined that we’re clean and we left.

Never trust a blue wig and a smile…

Video Coming Soon!